Transcripts of Dave's Tedious Links
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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Deee-Lite, Groove Is In The Heart

Today's Transcript:

Smash mouth is a condition you might end up with if you had to get in the ring with David Haye. Hay is what horses like to sleep on if they have a stable. Stable is what you might try to make your table in the pub with the aid of some carefully folded beermats. 'Mats' rhymes with 'bats', which are both radar-equipped flying mammals and apparatus for a successful game of ping-pong. Ping-pong also requires a ball. Balls can be dangerous if they end up on the floor and people slip on them or trip over them, causing injury that might require a visit to hospital. A hospital is a big building full of doctors and nurses. Doctors and nurses always have very clean hands, which they have to scrub a lot in very big sinks. 'Sinks' rhymes with 'minks', which are very small furry animals that used to be hunted to make fur coats. Coats of any type are not permitted in the city of Newcastle upon Tyne, as they prove to everybody that you're clearly a Southern softie.. Southern fried chicken was first introduced to the UK about twenty years ago, and when you think of other great stuff that's twenty years old you thin of Deee-Lite, which links to Deee-Lite and 'Groove Is In The Heart'.

Flaws:

Horses eat hay rather than sleep on it; bats have sonar, not radar; and the first Kentucky Fried Chicken store in the UK opened in 1965 (in Preston), so Southern fried chicken has been here for almost fifty years, rather than the twenty Dave suggested.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Nirvana, In Bloom

Today's Transcript:

Your heart is probably the most major of all the organs in the body, as it's responsible for pumping the blood. 'Blood' rhymes with 'flood', which is what you might end up with if you accidentally overfilled the bath. A bath is a good thing to have if you feel like enjoying a nice hot soak. If you swap the last letter of 'soap' for a 'P' you get 'soap', which is what you use when washing to make you clean. Clean is the opposite of dirty, and 'Dirrty' was the title of a big hit for Christina Aguilera, which had a video set in a boxing ring. A boxing ring is somewhere that Ricky Hatton is unlikely to be seeing for a while. If you end a 'Y' to the end of 'while' you get 'Whiley', as in Jo Whiley, who does her show on the weekends between 1 and 4. Four is the amount of people needed to play a doubles match in the sport of badminton. Badminton is also the name of a place famous for its horse trials. Horse trials are not when a horse has to go to court, but are when you do tricks and stuff on a horse in a competition sort of way. Weigh is what you do to calculate the price of fruit, unlike flowers which work differently. It's best to get flowers just before they're in bloom, which links to Nirvana and 'In Bloom'.

Flaws:

Horse trials don't really consist of doing tricks, but it's too complicated to go into, and showjumping might be considered tricks in a way.

Tedious Facts:

Released - December 1992

Highest UK Chart Position - #28

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Coolio featuring LV, Gangsta's Paradise

Today's Transcript:

'In Bloom' was taken from the classic Nirvana album 'Nevermind'. 'Never mind' is what Peter Jones might say if he'd lent you some money to buy some crisps and you'd forgotten to pay him back. 'Back For Good' is a brilliant pop song written by Gary Barlow and released in 1995, which was the year that Everton last won the FA Cup. The plural of 'cup' is 'cups', which are often associated with saucers, which can either be what you put milk in for cats to drink or, in the case of flying saucers, might be a general term for UFOs from space. Space is what you always want more of when on board an aircraft. Aircraft take off and land at airports, which tend to be busy places with lots of shops. Shops are where you buy sweets and magazines and stuff before you fly. 'Fly On The Wall' was a top 16 hit last year for Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus and the brother of Trace Cyrus from Metro Station. Most metro stations have lots of CCTV cameras, making you feel like you're on 'Big Brother'. 'Celebrity Big Brother' is something that Coolio's done twice , which links to Coolio and 'Gangsta's Paradise'.

Flaws:

Miley Cyrus is of course the sister of Trace, not the brother.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Kylie Minogue, Did It Again

Today's Transcript:

Coolio was in Derby last night, doing a gig with Aled. The name 'Aled' is an anagram of 'dale', as in the Yorkshire Dales. A dale is a type of a valley and is also an anagram of the word 'lead', which is what you put on a dog to stop it running away and biting people. People come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Sizes are important if you work in a clothes shop, so that customers can find clothes that fit. Fit is what Kris Akabusi must be, as I imagine he still does a bit of running. 'Running Up That Hill' was a big hit for Kate Bush, as was 'Cloudbusting', which was sampled by Utah Saints on their track 'Something Good', which was released in 1992 and then re-released in 2008 when it reached number eight. Eight is a position in rugby union right at the back of the scrums. 'Scrum' rhymes with 'Brum', which is an informal way of describing the city of Birmingham. Birmingham is one of the cities where 'X-Factor' does its auditions, which means that Dannii Minogue must have been there, which links to Kylie Minogue and 'Did It Again'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - December 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #14

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Bizarre Inc, Playing With Knives

Today's Transcript:

Kylie was in the Live Lounge yesterday and was accompanied by a whole orchestra. An orchestra is something you wouldn't want to get into a lift with as it'd be really cramped. Cramp is not very nice, especially when you get it in your feet. As well as being the things at the bottom of your legs, feet is a unit of measurement commonly used to measure height, distance and length. Lengths are something that swimmers must do a lot of, and swimmers have to shave their legs to reduce the drag coefficient that their body must have when it travels through the water. Water is crucial in the care of houseplants, which is why when you go away you might have to get someone else to water your plants, like a friend or neighbour. The plural of 'neighbour' is 'neighbours', and some people find that good neighbours become good friends. Our next door neighbour came round last night with some candles because we'd had a power cut. Cut is what you wouldn't want to get if you were training to be a samurai warrior, which is why you should always get proper training and never play with swords or nunchucks or knives, which links to Bizarre Inc and 'Playing With Knives'.

Flaws:

There's no objective evidence to support the practice of swimmers shaving their legs, and little common agreement as to its rationale. However, the removal of dead cells from the top of the skin that comes with shaving causes increased sensitivity to the water, and until a swimmer adjusts to shaved legs, that sensitivity will make competitive swimmers faster.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #4

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Finley Quaye, Sunday Shining

Today's Transcript:

Bizarre is one word to describe Lady Gaga, who is a unique artist who recently wore a dress made of meat. 'Meat' is an anagram of 'team', as in 'Team America', which is a funny film involving puppets. 'Puppets' rhymes with 'Muppets', which are the creation of Jim Henson, who shares the same surname as Gavin Henson, who's doing 'Strictly Come Dancing' along with Ann Widdecombe and Patsy Kensit. Patsy Kensit was in 'Lethal Weapon II' along with Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. A glover, presumably, was a word for someone who made gloves. Gloves are worn on the hands to protect them from cold during the winter months. Winter months are not a good time for growing vegetables in the garden, although I think you're okay with stuff like carrots and sprouts. Sprouts are a well known trumpy food, which means that they give you wind. Wind power is something being used more and more these days, with massive wind farms in coastal areas and at sea. If you were by the sea and wanting to board a boat it would be best to do this at the quay. If you add an 'E' to 'quay' you get 'Quaye', which links to Finley Quaye and 'Sunday Shining'.

Flaws:

You can indeed grow sprouts in winter, but apparently not carrots.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #16

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

The Grid, Swamp Thing

Today's Transcript:

Shining is how you might describe the stars in the dark sky. The sky is where you need to be if you're flying a plane or a glider. 'Glider' rhymes with 'Ryder', as in Shaun Ryder, who was the lead singer of the Happy Mondays. Mondays are probably the most depressing of all the days, with the possible exception of Sundays. As well as being one half of a weekend, sundaes can also be an ice-cream based dessert. Dessert is what you hope you still have room for at the end of a meal. 'Meal' rhymes with 'deal', as in 'Deal Or No Deal', which is a telly show hosted by Noel Edmonds. Noel Edmonds shares the same first name of Noel Sullivan from Hear'Say and Noel Gallagher, formerly of Oasis. An oasis is what you'd be hoping to find if you were on a long trek across the Sahara on board a camel. A camel is a good example of an animal that has one or more humps. Humps of a different type are what the council sometimes put in the road as a measure of traffic calming. Traffic calming is something they're very good at in Milton Keynes. Milton Keynes road system is known as the grid, which links to The Grid and 'Swamp Thing'.

Flaws:

Sundays as in one half of a weekend are not really the same thing as sundaes the ice-cream dessert.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1994

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

REM, Shiny Happy People

Today's Transcript:

A grid is what you wouldn't want to be stood over if you dropped your keys. Keys, first name Alicia, had a big hit with 'Empire State Of Mind' all about New York, which we re-wrote all about North Wales. North Wales is where Carol Vorderman is from, and she's proper good at maths. Maths was never my best subject at school, in fact I had to take my maths GCSE twice. Twice is the amount of times I've been to Los Angeles, which is in America. America is a big country, led by President Barack Obama, who's from Chicago. Chicago sits on a massive lake and is nicknamed the Windy City. 'Windy' rhymes with 'Cindy', which was the name of the 'Eastenders' character played by Michelle Collins. 'My shell' is how a turtle might describe his movable home. Home is where the heart is, and is also the place where charity begins. Biggins, first name Christopher, is a very jolly and funny man, and I suppose you could describe him as being a shiny happy person, which links to REM and 'Shiny Happy People'.

Flaws:

Barack Obama is actually from Hawaii.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #6

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By Nicola_Red
#436089
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Today's Tedious Link:

Take That, Everything Changes

Today's Transcript:

REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement, which I think is something that happens during a deep state of sleep. Sleep is a fundamental requirement for humans and all animals, otherwise the body cannot function properly. Properly is how you need to drive if you want to pass your driving test. 'Test' rhymes with 'pest', which is how you might describe vermin like mice or rats. Rats are much more common than most people realise, and there are actually more rats in the UK than there are horses. Horses can be tamed and trained to be ridden, but zebras, which are basically like fatter black and white horses, can't. 'Can't' is a word that isn't in the vocabulary of most of the contestants on this year's 'The Apprentice' with Lord Sugar. Sugar is what I used to have in my tea, although I've now weaned myself off it and just have milk. Milk can come from all sorts of animals such as cows and goats. Goat is a popular ingredient in a lot of African food. Africa is a massive continent which is rich in cultural diversity. Diversity are the dance act that won 'Britain's Got Talent' the other year, and Simon Cowell from 'Britain's Got Talent' must know Take That, which links to Take That and 'Everything Changes'.

Flaws:

REM in fact occurs during light, not deep, sleep. Some texters also argued that zebras can be ridden, but whilst attempts have been made to train zebras for riding, most of these attempts failed due to the zebra's more unpredictable nature and tendency to panic under stress. Also it's fair to say Dave only guessed that Simon Cowell knows Take That!

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1994

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Cornershop, Brimful Of Asha (Remix)

Today's Transcript:

'Everything Changes' featured Robbie Williams on lead vocals, and Robbie is now back in Take That and apparently features heavily on the new album. The word 'album' shares many of the same letters as 'Malibu', which is a posh beach resort up the coast from Los Angeles. Los Angeles is where Pink lives, and she left us a message the other day cos we had the first play of her new single. Single is one option in the world of hotel rooms, with the other being double, and as well as being words associated with hotel accommodation and beds, 'single' and 'double' are also used in the world of cream. 'Cream' was a big hit for Prince and the New Power Generation. 'The Generation Game' used to be hosted by Jim Davidson, who also used to present the snooker-based quiz show 'Big Break' with John Virgo. Virgo is one of the many star signs, as are Aries, Leo and Capricorn. Corn on the cob is a difficult thing to eat if you've not got good teeth. Someone who has got nice teeth is Norman Cook, aka Fatboy Slim (Chris in background: "Does he?"), who's been responsible for remixing loads of tracks over the years including 'Brimful Of Asha', which links to Cornershop and 'Brimful Of Asha'.

Flaws:

There are other options in the world of hotel rooms, like twin and family. I couldn't find any evidence to substantiate or refute Dave's claims as to the condition of Norman Cook's teeth.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1998

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

Dave last linked to this track just over a year ago, in September 2009.

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

Metallica, Enter Sandman

Today's Transcript:

Asha is an anagram of Saha, as in Louis Saha, who plays for Everton and is French. 'French' is a word that comes before 'mustard', 'kissing' and 'Saunders'. Saunders, first name Jennifer, is the other half of Ade Edmonson, who was in 'Bottom' with Rik Mayall. Mail is delivered by postmen, and I think ours is called Steve. Steve is a common abbreviation of the name Stephen, as in Stephen Hendry, who's good at playing snooker. Snooker is a game that requires skill, precision and careful thought. 'Thought' rhymes with 'caught', which is what you don't want to be if you're a wild salmon. Sam and Matt are two members of the Chris Moyles show team whose faces feature on the same mug. A mug is a good thing to drink tea and coffee out of, because it has a handle to prevent you from buring your hand. A hand is what you're dealt in a game of cards. Cards are something that I find really boring, in fact they'd probably put me to sleep. Sleep is where you dream, and you might end up dreaming about the sandman, which links to Metallica and 'Enter Sandman'.

Flaws:

You don't dream about the sandman, he brings on sleep and dreams.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #5

Dave last linked to this one just under a year ago in November 2009.

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By Nicola_Red
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Today's Tedious Link:

All Saints, Never Ever

Today's Transcript:

Metallica are from America, although their drummer Lars Ulrich is, I think, originally from Denmark. Denmark is a world leader in the production of bacon. Bacon, first name Kevin, has starred in lots of movies and is currently filming the new 'X-Men: First Class' film, which also stars James Macavoy, who was in the brilliant comedy 'Early Doors' with Craig Cash and that fellow from the Post Office adverts. Those Post office adverts also featured Westlife for a while, I think. Westlife have sold a phenomenal amount of albums, and when they first launched they were managed by Ronan Keating. 'Keating' rhymes with 'bleating', which is a noise you'd have to get used to if you were working as a sheep-shearer. Shearer, first name Alan, is a famous retired footballer who had a very successful career at Southampton, Blackburn Rovers and Newcastle United. Newcastle United are nicknamed the Magpies because of their black and white colours. Magpies are saluted by superstitious people, who in my experience tend to be girls. Girls made up the line-up of All Saints, which links to All Saints and 'Never Ever'.

Flaws:

The fellow from the Post Office ads is actor John Henshaw, who Dave has referenced without being able to name before. Also I don't think he has any evidence that it's mainly girls who are superstitious.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

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By Nicola_Red
#436093
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Today's Tedious Link:

The Libertines, Don't Look Back Into The Sun

Today's Transcript:

All Saints were made up of Shaznay Lewis, Melanie Blatt and the Appleton sisters. Transalted from Old English, 'Appleton' means 'apple town', which presumably describes a town based heavily on apples. One town associated with apples is New York, which is where Mark Ronson spends much of his time. Thyme of a different type is a herb that I would imagine is used extensively by Delia Smith. Delia Smith is on the board at Norwich City FC, as is Stephen Fry. Fry is a good way of cooking fish and chips, which are nice with salt and vinegar. Vinegar is basically just wine that's gone off. Gone off is what you'd want a firework to have done before you go near it once the fuse has been lit. 'Lit' rhymes with 'bit', which is what a horse has between its teeth. Teeth need to be cleaned regularly to prevent tooth decay and rotting. Bad teeth are something you associate with notorious hellraisers like Shane McGowan and Pete Docherty. Pete Doherty did his best work as part of The Libertines, which links to The Libertines and 'Don't Look Back Into The Sun'.

Flaws:

A couple of issues today. The name Appleton derives from the Olde English pre 7th Century "aeppeltun", meaning an orchard, not a "town based heavily on apples" (whatever that might mean). Vinegar is not wine that's gone off, but is made from the oxidation of ethanol, which may be derived from many different sources including wine, cider, beer or fermented fruit juice, or made synthetically from natural gas and petroleum derivatives. Also, Dave appeared to only be speculating about the amount of thyme used by Delia Smith.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #11

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By Nicola_Red
#436094
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Today's Tedious Link:

Stereophonics, A Thousand Trees

Today's Transcript:

If you look directly into the sun you should try to wear a pair of good quality sunglasses to protect your eyes from UV rays. Raise of a different type is what you'd need to do to a sunken shipwreck if you wanted to bring it to the surface for people to look at. 'Look At Me' was a number 2 hit for Geri Halliwell in 1999, while '1999' by Prince got to number 2 as well back in 1985. 1985 was the year that Wayne Rooney was born, who looks to have fallen out with Sir Alex Ferguson. Sir Alex Ferguson shares the same surname as Sarah Ferguson, who's the Duchess of York. York has a large racecourse for big horseracing events. Horseracing is where you'll find lots of bookmakers, who will gladly take your money as you place your bets. 'Bets' rhymes with 'nets', which are what trawlers use to catch large amounts of fish. Fish is eaten in many countries, including Portugal, Thailand and Wales. Wales is where the Stereophonics are from, which links to Stereophonics and 'A Thousand Trees'.

Flaws:

You shouldn't look directly into the sun, even with sunglasses.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #22

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By Nicola_Red
#436095
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Today's Tedious Link:

Baby D, Let Me Be Your Fantasy

Today's Transcript:

A thousand trees is probably, give or take, the amount of trees in Sherwood Forest, which is where Robin Hood used to hang out with his merry men. If you add a 'T' to 'merry men' you get 'merriment', which is a feeling you might get at Christmas, along with indigestion and nausea. Nausea is associated with travel sickness, which can be alleviated with the use of medicines which normally come in the form of tablets. Tablets in the olden days weren't things that you took for a headache but were like big lumps of stone that the Romans and Greeks, and possibly the Chinese, used to write on in the days before paper and laptops. Laptops shouldn't be mistaken for ragtops, which is another word for convertible cars. Convertible cars are good if you live in a hot country, although some people enjoy driving them in the UK with a scarf and hat on and the heating on full blast, to get the full wind in the hair experience. Experience is what a potential employer will often look for. Four minus three is one, and number one is where Baby D got to in the charts in 1994, which links to Baby D and 'Let Me Be Your Fantasy'.

Flaws:

At the last known count in 2008, Sherwood Forest contained around 600,000 trees, rather more than the thousand Dave suggested; and adding a 'T' to 'merry men' doesn't really make 'merriment'. He also admitted to being vague on the subject of stone tablets in 'olden days'.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1994

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

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By Nicola_Red
#436096
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Today's Tedious Link:

LL Cool J, Phenomenon

Today's Transcript:

Baby D wasn't heard of much after 'Let Me Be Your Fantasy', and probably now lives in a village somewhere making jams and chutneys. Chutney is something that's nice with cheese, on maybe a cracker or a piece of French bread. French bread is probably in short supply in France at the moment, cos everyone's on strike, from baguette makers to air traffic controllers. Air traffic controllers have quite a stressful job with a high level of responsibility, a bit like the responsibility of being a lifeguard or lollipop lady. Lollipop ladies and men are there to help children cross the road safely. Road safety is very important, which is why it's taught at a young age with the help of the Green Cross Code. The Green Cross Code is nothing to do with The DaVinci Code, which is a book written by Dan Brown. Brown is one of the coloured ball options in the game of snooker, along with pink, blue, black, yellow and green. Green is the colour you associate with grass and envy, and envy is what you might feel if you were a massive fan of LL Cool J and your mate got to meet him and you didn't, which links to LL Cool J and 'Phenomenon'.

Flaws:

Dee Galdes, the voice of Baby D, doesn't live in a village making jams and chutneys at all, but still performs with the group (her daughter was also a finalist on BBC's 'Over The Rainbow', trivia fans.) Also I'm not sure that bakers are on strike in France, although fuel depots, postal sorting offices, airports and schools all are, and all areas of society are being affected as a result.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #9

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By Nicola_Red
#436097
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Today's Tedious Link:

Inner City, Good Life

Today's Transcript:

LL Cool J stands for Ladies Love Cool James, cos he's obviously a bit of a smoothie when it comes to the women. 'Women' rhymes with 'swimming', which is a very good exercise and works nearly every bone in the body. 'The Body' is the nickname of supermodel Elle MacPherson, who's from Australia, like Dannii Minogue. Dannii Minogue is one of the 'X-Factor' judges, and sits next to Cheryl Cole. Cheryl Cole is also one fifth of Girls Aloud, along with Kimberley Walsh. Kimberley Walsh is from Bradford, which is in West Yorkshire. Yorkshire shares a land border with Lancashire, and the counties are separated by the Pennines. The Pennines are a large range of hills, or mountains depending on your viewpoint. 'Mountain' was a big hit for Biffy Clyro, who are from Scotland, like Lorraine Kelly. Lorraine Kelly shares the same surname as Matthew Kelly, who used to do 'Stars In Their Eyes'. I would imagine that Matthew Kelly lives in the country somewhere rather than in a city, which links to Inner City and 'Good Life'.

Flaws:

Dave meant that swimming works every muscle in the body, not bone. Also, the Pennines are mountains, not hills, and Matthew Kelly apparently lives in Chiswick.

Tedious Facts:

Released - December 1988

Highest UK Chart Position - #4

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By Nicola_Red
#436098
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Today's Tedious Link:

Eminem, My Name Is

Today's Transcript:

An inner city is where we are at the moment, live from Portsmouth. Portsmouth is a coastal city, which means that it's by the sea, and somewhere you'd be likely to see seagulls. Seagulls I think are bigger now, as a possible result of them eating more chips. Chips are made from potatoes, which were first introduced to the UK by Sir Walter Raleigh, who also brought us bicycles and tobacco. Tobacco is an addictive drug and is bad for you, a bit like doner kebabs. Doner kebabs are carved from a large spit of meat that looks a bit like an elephant's leg. 'Leg' rhymes with 'keg', which is another word for a barrel that's used to transport and serve beer. Beer is basically just made from hops, water and barley. If you swap the 'E' in 'barley' for an 'O' you get 'Barlow', as in Gary Barlow, who along with Take That has just announced details of their tour. We're on tour at the moment, (Dave being tickled: "Aaarrghhh"), which links to Eminem and 'My Name Is'.

Flaws:

Raleigh has been credited with bringing potatoes and tobacco back to Britain, but both of these were in fact already known via the Spanish, although Raleigh did help to make smoking popular at court. Also, swapping the 'E' in 'barley' for an 'O' does not produce 'Barlow', it produces 'Barloy', which is not a real word. In addition to this, thanks to Dave being tickled by guests The Saturdays I can't make out his final words in the link, so it remains a non sequitur going from the show on tour to 'My Name Is'.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

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By Nicola_Red
#436099
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Today's Tedious Link:

Goldie Lookin Chain, Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do

Today's Transcript:

Eminem's real name is Marshall Mathers, and he apparently didn't get on with his mum. 'Mum' rhymes with 'numb', which is how your arm might feel if you'd had injections to go somewhere exotic like Africa. Africa is a massive continent that has lots of wild animals like lions, elephants and antelopes. If you add a 'C' to the front of 'antelope' you get 'cantaloupe', which is a type of melon. Melon is sometimes served as a breakfast option when you're on holiday. 'Holiday' is the title of a classic Madonna hit from the 80s. 'Acceptable In The 80s' was the title of a more recent hit by Calvin Harris, who produced the new single by The Ting Tings. I wonder if The Ting Tings ever play table tennis when they're on tour and change the name to 'Ting Ting ping pong', or maybe just call it table tennis. Table tennis is a nice way to keep fit and relaxed, especially in a confined space. Space is the final frontier, but also what you'd be looking for in an estate car. An estate of a different type is where the series 'Shameless' is set. Set is what you hope will happen when you're making jelly. If you're making jelly you need water. Water is something that's never far away in Newport, where we are today. Newport is where Goldie Lookin Chain are from, which links to Goldie Lookin Chain and 'Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do'.

Flaws:

Adding a 'C' to 'antelope' doesn't really make 'cantaloupe'.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

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#436100
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Today's Tedious Link:

Oasis, Wonderwall

Today's Transcript:

Goldie Lookin Chain are probably one of the biggest bands ever to come out of Newport, and Maggot from the band even went on to star in 'Celebrity Big Brother'. 'Big Brother' has now finished after running for 10 years on Channel 4, which is the same channel that shows 'Celebrity Coach Trip', which starts on Monday. Monday is the first day of the working week, when this week we were in Portsmouth. Portsmouth is somewhere with a naval history, unlike Derby, which is more to do with trains than boats. 'Boats' rhymes with 'goats', which are used to make curry in places like Africa. 'Africa' was a big hit in the 80s for Toto, while Toto was the name of the dog in the film 'The Wizard Of Oz'. Ozzy Osbourne is a rock legend and is married to Sharon. If you remove the 'SH' from 'Sharon' you're left with 'Arran', which is an island off the West Coast of Scotland famous for its knitwear. Knitwear is good in cold places as it helps to keep you warm. Warm is how you hope your house will be if you have the central heating on...stop tickling me...you know what, links to Oasis and 'Wonderwall'.

Flaws:

Removing the 'SH' from 'Sharon' doesn't really make 'Arran'. Also, once again thanks to tickling, this time by McFly, the link contains a non sequitur.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

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By Nicola_Red
#436101
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Today's Tedious Link:

Chemical Brothers, Block Rockin' Beats

Today's Transcript:

A wonderwall is what they used to have in Berlin, before it was pulled down in 1989 by David Hasselhoff and some other people from the Western world. Western is the opposite of Eastern, which is an instruction in the world of directions. Directions are what you need if you're about to navigate a long car journey and don't want to get lost. 'Lost' is the title of an American telly show directed by JJ Abrams, which I think most people thought was a bit disappointing in the end. 'The End' is what you might see written at the end of a film at the bottom of the credits. Credits tend to roll from top to bottom as people are leaving the cinema or theatre. A theatre is where we are today, in Darlington in the North of England. England is the country that Rio Ferdinand plays international football for, unlike Gareth Bale who is Welsh. Welch, first name Denise, is an actress who is from just up the road in Newcastle-upon-Tyne. The Tyne is a famous river which flows out to sea. 2C is probably the name of one of the seats in the theatre here in Darlington. Darlington is where Vic Reeves was brought up, and Vic Reeves...I'm never gonna get all this in...which links to Chemical Brothers and 'Block Rockin' Beats'.

Flaws:

I'm not sure how Dave thinks you have credits in a theatre. Also, I doubt he has any evidence that most people thought the ending to 'Lost' was disappointing. Today's link also contained yet another non sequitur, this time as Dave ran out of time.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

Listen to the Link:

http://chrismoyles.net/soundvault/soundvault.php?fileid=2500
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By Nicola_Red
#436102
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Today's Tedious Link:

Adamski, Killer

Today's Transcript:

Chemicals can be very dangerous, which is why you should handle them with care and always wear gloves. Gloves come in pairs and are normally worn on the hands. Hans Christian Andersen is famous for writing fables, and is from Denmark like Peter Schmeicel and bacon. Bacon is a pork product, which means it comes from pigs. Pigs are the best animal to use to sniff out truffles. Truffles are a type of mushroom-like fungus and are the sort of thing that will excite Gordon Ramsey. Ramsay Street is the fictional address that is the setting for the TV show 'Neighbours'. Neighbours is how you might describe the people that live next door to you. If you reverse the words 'to' and 'you' you get 'U2', who are from Ireland, like Louis Walsh and Jedward. Jedward covered Vanilla Ice's classic 'Ice Ice Baby', which was originally released in 1990. Also released in that year were many other hits such as 'Killer', which links to Adamski and 'Killer'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

Dave last linked to this track almost 18 months ago, in July 2009.

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#436103
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Today's Tedious Link:

The Verve, Lucky Man

Today's Transcript:

'Killer' features the vocal talents of Seal, who went on to have a successful solo career and marry German supermodel Heidi Klum. 'Klum' rhyme with 'plum', which is a type of red fruit that contains a large stone. Other fruits that contain a large and potentially dangerous stone are nectarines and peaches. Peaches Geldof is the daughter of Sir Bob, who along with Midge Ure, raised millions for Africa through the Band Aid singles and Live Aid concerts. Concerts are something that you normally require a ticket to get into. 'In Too Deep' was a big hit for Sum 41, who are from Canada like Pamela Anderson. Pamela Anderson used to star in 'Baywatch' alongside David Hasselhoff, or The Hoff as he likes to be known. 'Known' is the past tense of 'to know', and know is what you need to do when it comes to your enemies. The singular form of 'enemies' is 'Enemy', which is the name of a band from Coventry. If you supported Coventry and somebody got you tickets to go and see them you'd think yourself a 'lucky man', which links to The Verve and 'Lucky Man'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report.

Tedious Facts:

Released - December 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #7

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#436104
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Today's Tedious Link:

Wu-Tang Clan, Gravel Pit

Today's Transcript:

A lucky man is what you'd be if you'd just won the lottery and scooped £30million. £30million is the transfer fee that took Dimitar Berbatov from Spurs to Manchester United a couple of years ago. Dimitar Berbatov is from Bulgaria, which is an emerging destination for tourism. Tourism is a massive industry in certain parts of the world, such as the Maldives, which I would imagine would be ideal for a honeymoon. A honeymoon is what you go on after you get married. 'Married' rhymes with 'carried', which is what you'd need to be if you broke your leg and didn't have any crutches. Crutches are normally made of aluminium these days, with rubbery bits on the bottom. The bottom is what your face would be next to if you were working in the rear section in a pantomime horse scenario. 'Scenario' is basically another word for 'story', and the big story today is that it's Dominic's birthday, so it seems right to play one of his favourite bands, which links to Wu-Tang Clan and 'Gravel Pit'.

Flaws:

Seamless, although I don't think Wu-Tang Clan really are one of Dom's favourite bands.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 2000

Highest UK Chart Position - #6

(N_Red)
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By Nicola_Red
#436105
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Today's Tedious Link:

George Michael, Too Funky

Today's Transcript:

A gravel pit is somewhere that you might expect to see a lot of lorries going in and out. 'In' and 'out' are two options in the world of doors, and 'in' and 'out' doors are commonly used in commercial kitchens. Kitchen nightmares are something that Gordon Ramsey suffers from when he goes to sleep at night. 'At Night' ws a big hit in 2002 for Shakedown. Shake down is the best way of obtaining a coconut that is fixed to a tree. The plural of 'tree' is 'trees', which make up a wood or forest. 'Forrest Gump' is the title of a classic film starring Tom Hanks. 'Hanks' rhymes with 'thanks', which are what you should always give to people after they've given you a present. 'Present' is the opposite of 'absent' in the world of registers. Registers of a different type are what you might find in music. Music is a specialist subject for Elton John, who once duetted with George Michael, which links to George Michael and 'Too Funky'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1992

Highest UK Chart Position - #4

(N_Red)
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long long title how many chars? lets see 123 ok more? yes 60

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